I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY
**************! DAaaaarrrrrrNN!!!

I'm pretty sure that Jessie Ventura ran in through the front door,
picked me up out of that recliner, then body slammed me on the carpet
over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal
position, nipples on fire, gonads nowhere to be found, soaking wet,
with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position. Gracie was
standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking
my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "do it again, do it again!"

(Note: If you ever feel compelled to mug yourself with a Tazer, one
note of caution. There is no such thing as a one-second burst when you
zap yourself. You're not going to let go of that thing until it is
dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor.
Then, if you're lucky, you won't dislodge one of the prongs 1/4" deep in
your thigh like yours truly.)

SON-OF-A-***** that hurt!

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at
this point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and
surveyed the landscape. My reading glasses were on the mantel of the
fireplace. How did they get there??? My triceps, right thigh and both
titties were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with
Novocain, as my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. give or take an ounce or two,
I'm pretty sure.

By the way, has anyone seen my privates? I think they ran away. I'm
offering a reward. They're round, rather large, kinda hairy, and
handsome if I must say so myself.
I Miss 'em . . . sure would like to get 'em back.

------------------
JUST 'CAUSE I STEEL, DON'T MAKE ME A THIEF www.geocities.com/squire592001/jason.html

If you ever take a single use camera (with flash) apart, where the flash battery and flashlamp electronics are laying on the table outside of their plastic case, don't try to pick the darn thing up unless yer wearin' rubber gloves. They have a supercapacitor in them that holds one he!! of a charge and packs a good whallop. 9 times out of 10 when you pick the subassembly up with your bare hands you'll get zapped. I've had one on my desk shelf here for a year and ain't moved it since it zapped me 6 months ago.

[This message was edited by Ray Minich on 28 September 2004 at 03:30 PM.]

quote:

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I’m not missing the same body parts as you

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Now picture this: I read in the paper that during a Florida state execution that the electricity was on for a full 90 seconds before the prisoner finally was pronounced dead.

I understand that the chair had a tag on it that said, "You Can Be Sure If It's Westinghouse". More power than just two AAA batteries, I suspect.