|
Author
|
Topic: A Modest Proposal
|
Bill McCloskey
Member From:
|
posted 22 February 2006 12:39 PM
profile
I believe I have a solution to all the controversy we’ve had here lately. A committee should be formed to set the exact number of strings allowed on a lap steel guitar. Once that string number is determined, all steel manufacturers must adhere, or be denied the right to label their instrument as a lap steel. In that case, it must be called a lap hurdy-gurdy. An exact tuning will be agreed upon, voted on, and enforced: forcibly if necessary. Specific scale length and string gauges will be standardized. A set of 10 tunes will form the steel guitar canon. 3 Hawaiian, 3 Western Swing, 3 Country, and one Blues/Rock/Alternative. A Sacred Steel tune will be allowed to be played every leap year. These will be the only tunes that will be allowed for performance. Every player must be certified on each tune before they will be given Performance Certificate. Strict adherence to form, tempo, and key will be expected and required. Individuality is discouraged. Players will be ranked by team of 3 who will set World-Wide Ranking system. Only the top 10 players will be allowed to record or talk with the press. All interviews must be reviewed by the central committee to make sure the steel community is on point and on message. Together we can unite our instrument under a common banner and mission. The future is ours.
|
Matt Lange
Member From: Wisconsin, USA
|
posted 22 February 2006 12:47 PM
profile
i vote that the "blues/rock/alternative" song be "Smoke on the water." you know, just to keep thinks simple |
Jude Reinhardt
Member From: Ironton, Ohio, USA
|
posted 22 February 2006 01:19 PM
profile
If you can play Faded Love, I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry and Harbor Lights on a six-string tuned to C6 why play anthing else?  |
P Gleespen
Member From: Lakewood, OH USA (I miss Boston!)
|
posted 22 February 2006 01:21 PM
profile
Oh, I thought we were talking about eatin' children. Never mind.  |
Bill McCloskey
Member From:
|
posted 22 February 2006 01:39 PM
profile
You're too swift for me Gleespen. |
Ron Bednar
Member From: Rancho Cordova, California, USA
|
posted 22 February 2006 01:41 PM
profile
Yeah and no left handed players allowed...except maybe...naw, him neither.
And no whinny G tuned reso's either...
Hey, who's that guy in the back with the Weissenborn?...Get him outta here! |
Bill McCloskey
Member From:
|
posted 22 February 2006 01:43 PM
profile
Robert Randolph will, of course, agree to disavow any connection between whatever the heck he does and the steel guitar. |
John Rosett
Member From: Graham, NC USA
|
posted 22 February 2006 01:43 PM
profile
ten tunes?!?!?
i guess i better go practice...... |
Gerald Ross
Member From: Ann Arbor, Michigan, USA
|
posted 22 February 2006 01:49 PM
profile
Another rule and protocol:If a person publicly states that they like the color red you must quickly counteract with statements emphatically stating the superior qualities of the color blue. You must then insult the red person's intelligence, religious beliefs, spouse's physical appearance, child’s SAT scores, state of residence and sandwich preferences. If the red person is from a country other than the USA, feel free to insult anything about them. You must then back up your statements with quotes from the "famous" people you personally know, have played gigs with and hung out at their homes. Refer to these famous people by their initials or just their first name. Wait two hours. Then post a retraction. Better yet, delete your post.
------------------
Gerald Ross
'Northwest Ann Arbor, Michigan's King Of The Hawaiian Steel Guitar'
CEO, CIO, CFO - UkeTone Records
Gerald's Fingerstyle Guitar Website
Board of Directors Hawaiian Steel Guitar Association [This message was edited by Gerald Ross on 22 February 2006 at 02:29 PM.]
|
Steinar Gregertsen
Member From: Arendal, Norway
|
posted 22 February 2006 01:53 PM
profile
And of course, as soon as the correct number of strings and a universal tuning has been determined once and for all, we will need to look into those nasty little steel bars and set a standard... No-Nose or Flat-Nose? Bullet or Pellet? Straight or Pre-Slanted? The possibilities are plenty.. Steinar ------------------
www.gregertsen.com
|
Brad Bechtel
Moderator From: San Francisco, CA
|
posted 22 February 2006 02:28 PM
profile
Sorry, folks. This topic has nothing to do with non pedal steel guitars, and is far more appropriate in the Feedback section. Moved to Feedback from No Peddlers.------------------
Brad's Page of Steel
A web site devoted to acoustic & electric lap steel guitars |
Steinar Gregertsen
Member From: Arendal, Norway
|
posted 22 February 2006 02:39 PM
profile
A little light-hearted fun wouldn't have hurt anyone, we needed that to ease the tensions....  Steinar ------------------
www.gregertsen.com
|
Jim Cohen
Member From: Philadelphia, PA
|
posted 22 February 2006 02:51 PM
profile
I think Bill's suggestion is very practical. A true, Standout idea! (I think...) |
John Ummel
Member From: Arlington, WA.
|
posted 22 February 2006 02:52 PM
profile
quote:
Individuality is discouraged.
Absolutely, therefore a strict standard of dress and hairstyle will need to be established.
|
George Keoki Lake
Member From: Edmonton, AB., Canada
|
posted 22 February 2006 02:56 PM
profile
Hmmmm....reminds me of: " Ve have ways of dealing mit you!: |
Loni Specter
Member From: West Hills, CA, USA
|
posted 22 February 2006 03:05 PM
profile
Indeed, a 'final solution' to the lap steel "Problem". |
Bill McCloskey
Member From:
|
posted 22 February 2006 04:07 PM
profile
Actually, I would have prefered this stayed with Non P's but, you know..the feedback section needed a pick me up as well.
I like the hair style requirement. We should definitely delve into that!
|
Bill McCloskey
Member From:
|
posted 22 February 2006 04:12 PM
profile
Can I have a second on Smoke on the Water being the official Blues/Rock/Alternative. I know Joe Wright has already set precedent here. |
Steinar Gregertsen
Member From: Arendal, Norway
|
posted 22 February 2006 04:25 PM
profile
quote:
...the feedback section needed a pick me up as well.
Yeah, but I don't like to stray so far from home, it's scary out here... Once I ended up in the "Music" neighbourhood, and it was really frightening.... 
Steinar ------------------
www.gregertsen.com
|
Jim Cohen
Member From: Philadelphia, PA
|
posted 22 February 2006 04:46 PM
profile
Well, for hairstyle, some of us are, um, a little, "challenged" in that department, so could we just reduce it to the lowest common denominator, please, and insist that henceforth all steel players shave their heads? David Wright will think we're emulating him, but that's okay... |
Jim Phelps
Member From: just out of Mexico City
|
posted 22 February 2006 09:50 PM
profile
What scares me is, I'll bet a lot of this stuff would probably get a majority vote!Probably not that shaving head thing. |
Bob Storti
Member From: Matthews, North Carolina, USA
|
posted 23 February 2006 04:40 AM
profile
What about an age and weight requirement?Young and Thin maybe In, but Old and Fat is where it's At! Bob |
Doug Rolfe
Member From: Indianapolis, IN
|
posted 23 February 2006 04:50 AM
profile
I guess that means a black push pull Emmons will no longer be considered a steel. Or is this just too far off topic? |
Bill McCloskey
Member From:
|
posted 23 February 2006 05:03 AM
profile
I think we can all agree that the official steel uniform material is polyester.Tshirts are forbidden obviously. I'm imagining open shirts with wide collars. But of course, anything taken from the fine fashion movements of the 1970's are acceptable. Any musician accompaning a steel player must don the official uniform or else be denied permission to play.
[This message was edited by Bill McCloskey on 23 February 2006 at 06:51 AM.] |
Bill McCloskey
Member From:
|
posted 23 February 2006 05:04 AM
profile
Addendum: Any player caught with an electronic tuner will be subject to the traditional steel ritual known as "Shunning" |
Larry Strawn
Member From: Golden Valley, Arizona, USA
|
posted 23 February 2006 07:10 AM
profile
Is a polyester Tee shirt with a tear, and a B-B-Q stain on front permitted??
Larry |
John Ummel
Member From: Arlington, WA.
|
posted 23 February 2006 07:14 AM
profile
quote:
polyester Tee shirt with a tear
|
Bill McCloskey
Member From:
|
posted 23 February 2006 07:21 AM
profile
"I guess that means a black push pull Emmons will no longer be considered a steel. "Doug, the rules here set out are designed for the re-unification of the the beloved lap steel, also known as just plain "steel". Those of you who have bastadized our beloved instrument with so-called "pedals" will have to find your own rules. As of today, we, the Society of Steel (SOS) do not officially recognize your instrument as legitimate. [This message was edited by Bill McCloskey on 23 February 2006 at 07:22 AM.] |
Bill McCloskey
Member From:
|
posted 23 February 2006 07:40 AM
profile
"weight requirement"Yes, I think we need a miniumum weight requirement: certainly north of 200. |
Rick Garrett
Member From: Tyler, Texas
|
posted 23 February 2006 07:49 AM
profile
"Those of you who have bastadized our beloved instrument with so-called "pedals" will have to find your own rules. As of today, we, the Society of Steel (SOS) do not officially recognize your instrument as legitimate."Oh my word! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Man that is SO funny. My sides hurt. So called pedals? Why don't you just tattoo a bullseye on your backside Bill? Rick |
Bill McCloskey
Member From:
|
posted 23 February 2006 07:51 AM
profile
The only Tatoo sanctioned by the SOS is a horseshoe pickup.[This message was edited by Bill McCloskey on 23 February 2006 at 07:52 AM.] |
Bill McCloskey
Member From:
|
posted 23 February 2006 09:03 AM
profile
Brother Garrett has officially been designated a charter member of the Society of Steel and he has suggested that the initials be written: s0s. The following tag lines are under consideration: "We Don't Need No Stinking Pedals" "Fitting Square Pegs into Even Squarer Holes." or my personal favorite: "Protecting the Steel Guitar from Holliganism since 2006" |
Gene Jones
Member From: Oklahoma City, OK USA
|
posted 23 February 2006 09:50 AM
profile
On my left forearm, I have a tatoo described in my military records as "horseshoe with roses, inscribed with name Gene".Does that qualify? |
b0b
Sysop From: Cloverdale, California, USA
|
posted 23 February 2006 10:23 AM
profile
This isn't really "Forum Feedback" so I'm moving it to "Humor".
Tag, you're it, Donna! |
Topic Closed
The Steel Guitar Forum
