What are the dumbest lyrics ever written?

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What are the dumbest lyrics ever written? (Page 1)

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Author	Topic: What are the dumbest lyrics ever written?
Mike Perlowin Member From: Los Angeles CA	posted 19 April 2003 05:16 AM profile I have 2 nominations. The first is Surfin' Bird Oh well a bird bird bird, bird is a word. Yes a bird bird bird, bird is a word. Bird bird bird, bird is a word. Yes a bird bird bird, bird is a word. Well don't you know about the bird? Everybody knows that bird is a word. Oh well a bird bird bird, bird is a word. Bird bird bird, bird is a word. My other nomination is the Name Game. Mike Mike bo bike.................. ------------------ I'm not fat! I'm horzontally enhanced!
David Reeves Member From: Florida	posted 19 April 2003 06:55 AM profile Shake, shake, shake; Shake, shake, shake; Shake, your booty; Shake, your booty. Shake, shake, shake; Shake, shake, shake; Shake, your booty; Shake, your booty. Shake, shake, shake; Shake, shake, shake; Shake, your booty; Shake, your booty. Shake, shake, shake; Shake, shake, shake; Shake, your booty; Shake, your booty. Shake, shake, shake; Shake, shake, shake; Shake, your booty; Shake, your booty. Shake, shake, shake; Shake, shake, shake; Shake, your booty; Shake, your booty. (Repeat indefinitely) KC and the Sunshine Band
CrowBear Schmitt Member From: Ariege, - PairO'knees, - France	posted 19 April 2003 07:00 AM profile the lyrics to Wooly Bully
Paul Graupp Member From: Macon Ga USA	posted 19 April 2003 07:08 AM profile One I can never get out of my head was called Our Dog Is Daid... Most pathetically hillbilly lament I have ever heered.... Regards, Paul
Bob Blair Member From: Edmonton, Alberta, Canada	posted 19 April 2003 07:31 AM profile "Yummy Yummy Yummy I've Got Love in my Tummy" is surely right up there.
Bob Knight Member From: Bowling Green KY	posted 19 April 2003 07:44 AM profile "Louie Louie"
Jim Cohen Member From: Philadelphia, PA	posted 19 April 2003 07:58 AM profile How about: Do wah diddy diddy dum diddy-do! or La la la la la la la la la means 'I love you'
Dennis Olearchik Member From: Newtown, PA	posted 19 April 2003 08:06 AM profile Mike, Not to derail your thread but imho the most "over-used" lyric is "...i love you..". And after hearing that lyric used in a gajillion songs over the past 40+ yrs, I sometimes cringe even when I hear it in a song I like. So for me, it may have become THE dumbest "lyric" of all. But "..bird, bird, bird, bird is a word" is a real close runner up ;-) p.s. Jim, I don't get it, what's dumb about "Do wah diddy diddy dum diddy-do!"? [This message was edited by Dennis Olearchik on 19 April 2003 at 08:08 AM.] [This message was edited by Dennis Olearchik on 19 April 2003 at 08:11 AM.] [This message was edited by Dennis Olearchik on 19 April 2003 at 08:12 AM.]
John LeMaster Member From: St. Johns County, FL	posted 19 April 2003 09:57 AM profile My nomination (ala John "Bowser" Baughman of the oldies group Sha-Na-Na) Ba-ba-ba-ba, Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba, Dangdy-Dang-Dang Dingdy-Dong-Ding Blue Moon Blue, blue, blue, blue moon, Dip-dip-dip-dip-dip Blue, blue, blue, blue moon, Dip-dip-dip-dip-dip Blue, blue, blue, blue moon, Dip-dip-dip-dip-dip Ba-ba-ba-ba (well, you get the idea) The original recording was by another group. Possibly the Marcels? John L.
Frank Estes Member From: Huntsville, AL	posted 19 April 2003 10:12 AM profile "Brand New Key" I've got a brand new pair of roller skates, You've got a brand new key. I just wish we'd get together and try them out you see. I've been lookin around the world, You've got something for me. Oh, I've got a brand new pair of roller skates you've got a brand new key. I ride my bike, I roller skate don't drive no car. Don't go too fast, but I go pretty far, for someone who don't drive, well I've been all around the world... (Had not no heard this song by Melanie in years. I remember when it came it out because it was around the time that Disney World was opened. I will actually sing a few bars of this song when I am trying to get a laugh...)
Earnest Bovine Member From: Los Angeles CA USA	posted 19 April 2003 10:12 AM profile I hear people saying we don't need this war I say there's some things worth fighting for What about our freedom and this piece of ground? We didn't get to keep 'em by backing down They say we don't realize the mess we're getting in Before you start preaching Let me ask you this my friend Have you forgotten how it felt that day To see your homeland under fire And her people blown away? Have you forgotten when those towers fell? We had neighbors still inside Going through a living hell And you say we shouldn't worry 'bout Bin Laden Have you forgotten? They took all the footage off my T.V. Said it's too disturbing for you and me It'll just breed anger that's what the experts say If it was up to me I'd show it every day Some say this country's just out looking for a fight After 9/11 man I'd have to say that's right Have you forgotten how it felt that day To see your homeland under fire And her people blown away? Have you forgotten when those towers fell? We had neighbors still inside Going through a living hell And we vowed to get the ones behind Bin Laden Have you forgotten? I've been there with the soldiers Who've gone away to war And you can bet that they remember Just what they're fighting for Have you forgotten all the people killed? Yes, some went down like heroes in that Pennsylvania field Have you forgotten about our Pentagon? All the loved ones that we lost And those left to carry on Don't you tell me not to worry 'bout Bin Laden Have you forgotten? Have you forgotten? Have you forgotten?
Eric West Member From: Portland, Oregon, USA	posted 19 April 2003 10:58 AM profile I think "You were the wind beneath my wings" has got to be in there somewhere. Crimson and Clover. That Don't Impress Me Much. "I love you" has got to be the worst tag, except maybe in the Partridge Family song, where it is at least corrected to read "I think....". Achey Breakey. Though the sentiment is TOTALLY the best of, I think the Stretch for Rhyming "Bin Laden" was kind of pathetic. I liked the Charlie Daniels effort myself.. ( I know.. "YOU come up with something then Eric...") Also in that vein, Lee Greenwood's Proud to be an American.. "Where at least(?) I know I'm free." Jeezus! What is THAT? I'm going to have to consult my Bill Hankey Slanted Dictionary of Perilously Presumptious Predicates and Natty Nominatives (tm). Egg Sucking Dog. More to come.. EJL Actally sometimes the "worst" can vie for my adulation with the Best. Here's one of "my faves" Tom Waits Small Change (1976) The Piano has been Drinking (Not Me) The piano has been drinking, my necktie is asleep And the combo went back to New York, the jukebox has to take a leak And the carpet needs a haircut, and the spotlight looks like a prison break And the telephone's out of cigarettes, and the balcony is on the make And the piano has been drinking, the piano has been drinking... And the menus are all freezing, and the light man's blind in one eye And he can't see out of the other And the piano-tuner's got a hearing aid, and he showed up with his mother And the piano has been drinking, the piano has been drinking As the bouncer is a Sumo wrestler cream-puff casper milktoast And the owner is a mental midget with the I.Q. of a fence post 'Cause the piano has been drinking, the piano has been drinking... And you can't find your waitress with a Geiger counter And she hates you and your friends and you just can't get served without her And the box-office is drooling, and the bar stools are on fire And the newspapers were fooling, and the ash-trays have retired 'Cause the piano has been drinking, the piano has been drinking The piano has been drinking, not me, not me, not me, not me, not me [This message was edited by Eric West on 19 April 2003 at 04:30 PM.]
Roger Rettig Member From: NAPLES, FL	posted 19 April 2003 11:19 AM profile I'm with 'Earnest' on this one, 'though Toby Keith's recent 'call to war' runs it a close second... RR
Donny Hinson Member From: Balto., Md. U.S.A.	posted 19 April 2003 11:53 AM profile Mattie tol' Hattie, 'bout a thang she saw. Had two big eyes, and a wooly jaw...Wooly Bullyyyy, Wooly Bully. Oh dat Wooly, oh dat Wooly, Wooly Bully. Being in a dozen different rock bands in the '60s, I wish I had a buck for every time I played that one! 'Course, then there's...Baa Baa Baa, Baa Baa Barann, Baa Baa Baa, Baa Baa Barann..." (I think Mel Tillis wrote that one!) [This message was edited by Donny Hinson on 19 April 2003 at 12:05 PM.]
Tony Prior Member From: Charlotte NC	posted 19 April 2003 11:56 AM profile I/m with Mike on this one.. Surfin Bird.It's my first choice.. At least the other songs actually have words ... T
Barbara Hennerman Member From: Rangely, CO, USA	posted 19 April 2003 12:06 PM profile * [This message was edited by Barbara Hennerman on 21 August 2006 at 01:17 AM.]
John Steele Member From: Renfrew, Ontario, Canada	posted 19 April 2003 12:07 PM profile Thanks Earnest. I'm with you. That pandering, inane piece of stupidity actually woke me up in the middle of the night this week, and made me so angry I couldn't get back to sleep. -John
David Doggett Member From: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA	posted 19 April 2003 12:38 PM profile Well, I'm not touching Ernest's nomination, which has got to be one of Ernest's longest posts. So before this goes around the political bend and b0b closes it, I'm gonna try to get it back on track. I don't think the doowop nominations are fair. That stuff is clever in its own way for its own purposes - same for The Name Game. But the original entry of Surfin' Bird does seem to be in a dumbness class all its own, with Shake Your Booty, Wooly Bully and Louie Louie close behind. I've tried in vain to top those. The only thing that keeps coming into my mind is "Crimson and clover, over and over." And now I have to go listen to something, anything, to get that out of my head. Thanks, guys. [This message was edited by David Doggett on 19 April 2003 at 12:40 PM.]
Frank Parish Member From: Nashville,Tn. USA	posted 19 April 2003 12:45 PM profile She thinks my tractor's sexy. Now there's a line with real meaning.
Stephen Gambrell Member From: Ware Shoals, South Carolina, USA	posted 19 April 2003 12:48 PM profile "When I was a little bitty baby Momma would rock me in the cradle In them old cotton fields back home..." Eric, don't be too hard on ol' Greenwood. Every time therre's a national crisis, he gets off the Moose lodge circuit.
Craig A Davidson Member From: Wisconsin Rapids, Wisconsin USA	posted 19 April 2003 12:49 PM profile How about: They'll buy a Winnebago Set out to see America Do a lot of catching up A little at a time From Eighteen Wheels and a Dozen Roses Wasn't the guy a truckdriver? Where the heck did he drive? And who would retire and go back to the same thing? ------------------ 1985 Emmons push-pull,Evans SS200, Nashville400, 65 re-issue Fender Twin, Fender Tele
Jim Bob Sedgwick Member From: Clinton, Missouri USA	posted 19 April 2003 12:51 PM profile Only if you are a "Motorphile" Frank. I found this to be uplifing (the food in my stomach, anyway)
Eric Myers Member From: Waynesville, Missouri, USA	posted 19 April 2003 03:30 PM profile "Holding her, and loving you" i crack up everytime I hear this just thinking of the sorry saps that actually relate to it and think it is touching- no offense to sorry saps in general, =) -maybe its because I think its such a disgusting sentiment and my mirth is my way of compensating...........hmmmmm [This message was edited by Eric Myers on 19 April 2003 at 03:39 PM.]
Leroy Riggs Member From: High Country, CO	posted 19 April 2003 04:34 PM profile All of the above wins.
Herb Steiner Member From: Cedar Valley, Travis County TX	posted 19 April 2003 05:27 PM profile Stephen Gambrell is on the right song, but the wrong lyric. He should have chosen "it was down in Louisiana, just about a mile from Texarkana..." Last time I drove it, Texarkana was 36 miles from Louisiana. Yeah, I know... Mr. Picky-Picky. ------------------ Herb's Steel Guitar Pages Texas Steel Guitar Association
Ken Lang Member From: Simi Valley, Ca	posted 19 April 2003 08:03 PM profile (Blue moon of Kentucky.) It was a dark and stormy night. Stars shining bright. Oops, Got my lyrics and literature confused. There are so many choices for the worst words, it's hard to decide. I can only give you my favorite, which may be worst in someone elses eyes. From the Sherrils: He's my kind of guy, (Do Lang do Lang do Lang)....... Ken Lang
Reggie Duncan Member From: Mississippi	posted 19 April 2003 09:27 PM profile "Get Off The Stove, Grandma, You're Too Old To Ride The Range!"
Ray Montee Member From: Portland, OR, USA	posted 20 April 2003 04:09 PM profile "Marsi-dotes and lil' lamsy divy" got my vote as did, "I've got tears in my ears from lying on my back while I cry over you!. Of course, "She made toothpicks from the Timbers of my Heart" runs a close third.
Donny Hinson Member From: Balto., Md. U.S.A.	posted 20 April 2003 06:23 PM profile How about an "oldie"... Ta Rah Rah Boom* De-Ay,* Ta Rah Rah Boom* De-Ay...* That's even worse than "Surfin' Bird"!
Steve Frost Member From: Scarborough,Maine	posted 20 April 2003 07:30 PM profile Interestingly enough, for these purposes, there are actually semi-coherent lyrics to Louie, Louie, which may exempt the song from the current discussion. I saw them recently, and probably never would have divined them from the vocal delivery. Keep looking!
Steve Stallings Member From: Bremond, Tx, pop 876, Home of the fighting Bremond Tigers	posted 21 April 2003 12:52 PM profile just when ya thought it was safe to come out, the liberal left weighs in.... I like both of the songs which are clearly pandering to a nationalistic pathos. I thought rhyming "bin-laden" with "have you forgotten" was pretty good... after all, what other alternatives have you ever heard? Osama yo mama works well too! or... ooh ooh! Did any of you guys here the great rap tune "All your bases are belong to us remix"? I ordinarily would rather put sharp darning needles in both eyes than listen to rap, but this one was kinda catchy oh, never mind... Steve (I put the jingo in jingoism)Stallings
Billy Easton Member From: Casa Grande, Arizona, USA	posted 21 April 2003 01:30 PM profile How about... "Jimmy Cracked Corn and I don't care, Jimmy Cracked Corn and I don't care, Jimmy Cracked Corn and I don't care, My master's gone away" If he don't care, why did he sing about it? ------------------ Billy Easton Casa Grande, AZ Southwestern Steel Guitar Association
Joe Miraglia Member From: Panama, New York USA	posted 21 April 2003 06:51 PM profile There is a hole in the bottom of the sea.-- You all know it,lets all sing it--- There IS A Frog on a lunp,on log in a hole in the bottom of the sea,etc. You all keep singing I'm going to bed. Joe PS it's Lump, I can't spell tonight [This message was edited by Joe Miraglia on 21 April 2003 at 06:56 PM.]
ebb Member From: nj	posted 21 April 2003 07:13 PM profile i'm a people - george jones
Harry Dietrich Member From: Robesonia, Pennsylvania, USA	posted 21 April 2003 07:35 PM profile How about..." Head for the Roundhouse, Nellie...the Brakeman Can't Corner You There." Or Springsteens, "Born in the U.S.A."
Bill Ford Member From: Graniteville SC Aiken	posted 21 April 2003 07:39 PM profile There's a flea on a hair on a wart on a frog on a knot on a log in a hole in the bottom of the sea... All together now,A2,A3,A4 ------------------ Bill Ford
Mike Perlowin Member From: Los Angeles CA	posted 21 April 2003 08:07 PM profile Actually the lyric originally was "GIMME cracked corn (liquor) and I don't care."
CHIP FOSSA Member From: Monson, MA 01057 U.S.A.	posted 21 April 2003 08:17 PM profile "Oh Carol, You're The Bottom Of The Barrel".- The Fabulous Farquarher. Cape Cod, circa: 1968.
Jim Cohen Member From: Philadelphia, PA	posted 21 April 2003 08:49 PM profile "A hundred bottles of beer on the wall A hundred bottles of beer... (etc.)
Ulf Edlund Member From: Umeå, Sweden	posted 22 April 2003 04:01 AM profile I would like to suggest "Dont Pass Me By" from The Beatles "White Album". What a turn it takes in the last verse... Here we go: I listen for your foot steps coming up the drive listen for you foot steps but they don't arrive waiting for you knock, dear on my old front door i don't hear it does it mean you don't love me anymore i hear the clock a ticking on the mantel shelf see the hands a moving but I'm by myself i wonder where you are tonight and why I'm by myself i don't see you does it mean you don't love me anymore don't pass me by don't make me cry don't make me blue 'cause you know darling I love only you you'll never know it hurt me so how I hate to see you go don't pass my by don't make me cry i'm sorry that I doubted you i was so unfair you were in a car crash and you lost you hair (what a rhyme!!) you said that you would be late about and hour or two i said that's all right i'm waiting here just waiting to hear from you don't pass me by don't make me cry don't make me blue... Uffe [This message was edited by Ulf Edlund on 22 April 2003 at 04:02 AM.]

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