Dear Bandleader:

We look forward to your performance at our daughter's wedding. If you don't
mind, we would like to request a few of our favourite songs.

Please play these during the reception:
A Keith Jarrett composition from his solo series. Please arrange it for full
ensemble in the key of B but nothing in 4/4 please.

Mahavishu Orchestra, "Dance of the Maya" and please have the guitarist play
John McLaughlin's solo from the live performance Nov. 16, 1972 at Chrysler
Arena. My wife and I were at that show and we liked his use of polyrhythms.

One of John Coltrane's duets with Pharoah Sanders. Our guests love high
register tenor saxes.

We thought a little Stravinsky right after the toast would be nice. So,
please play "The Rite of Spring". We like a tempo of about 1/4 note=93 and
transpose it down a minor 3rd -- it will be so much more appropriate for
this occasion in the slightly lower register.

Then for the candle lighting ceremony, please play Frank Zappa's "The Grand
Wazoo". The original key of B flat, would be fine but my cousin Jeannie
would like to sing the baritone sax solo in the key of D - she has kind of a
high voice.

When my new son-in-law takes off the garter, please just a little of
Varese's "Ionisation". It's such a funny piece, we think it would go over
real well. Much better than the "The Stripper".

And for the bride and groom's first dance, please slow things down a bit by
doing Barber's "Adagio for strings". It's so much better than "We've only
just begun" or the "Anniversary Waltz".

When my wife and I join in the first dance, could you segue to Thelonius
Monk's "Ruby, My Dear." It's in honor of my wife's grandmother whose name
was Ruby, it would mean so much to the family.

Thanks for all your help. Depending on the outcome, we'll certainly be happy
to recommend your band to our friends. We'll have your check for the fee of
$250.00 (minus our expenses in contacting you of $12.50) by the end of next
month; we're a little short, as the young lady doing the balloon arch wanted
her $1,850 in advance and the DJ had to be paid up front his $2,500 as
normal. Our daughter assured us that your love of music was greater than
your need for money, and that you would welcome the EXPOSURE you would get
from playing this wedding.

Before you leave, please feel free to ask the caterer for a snack sandwich
and a soda (the bottles are returnable or you can pay the deposit to the
butler). Please use the back entrance to avoid disturbing the guests.

"We thought a little Stravinsky right after the toast would be nice. So,
please play "The Rite of Spring". We like a tempo of about 1/4 note=93 and
transpose it down a minor 3rd -- it will be so much more appropriate for
this occasion in the slightly lower register." Huh? That composition is all over the place with tempos and polyrhythms.

I will say this... What they are paying the band will definately compensate for their demands.....

Keep on pickin'!
Glenn
www.kevinfowler.com

"Would you do requests, if someone had something they wanted to hear?"

"Sure, if it was something we thought we could handle, yes, we'd do requests."

"Oh good. Could you send me a list ?"

-John

[This message was edited by John Steele on 28 October 2003 at 06:58 AM.]

Our nephew Arthur has been playing drums for 6 weeks and will of course play on the John MacGlaughlin piece, so his parents can judge his progress.

There should be no sound levels above 96 db @ 1 yard from the stage. It will be metered.

There will be a photo shoot on the stage 7 minutes before the music commences, so of course we expect the stage to be clear for the photos.

If you feel the Barber is too dark please re-orchstrate it in into a major key.

And of course cousin Raymond is a fan of St. Martin of the Fields, and we therefor expect each piece to be played with proper period instrumentaion.

The 1921 Steinway is out being restored now, so we expect you to provide a suitable replacement, we have never tolerated sampled pianos in out home.

1st set will be at 6pm and last set at 4 am respectively. Please provide accomidations such as cars or a camper outside the gate for the periods during the DJ's 3 one hour sets,
so as not to impose the musicians in repose, on our wedding guests.

Our house electrician will be metering the electricity usage thoughtout the soiree, and will bill you accordingly at our our electric companies rates plus 10%.
As per his fee, it is hourerly and may be paid directly to him at the end of the evening.

If you have any problems during the course of the evening, please do NOT disturb the guests,
nor the staff, since they are working.

And our attorny, who has drafted this contract, will have an assistant by the stage to acertain that all stipulations are met, and that the songlist is adheared too.
Please have your attorny, all band members, the sound crew and 3 witnesses sign it in the presence of a Notary Public, so that there are no possible misunderstandings of it's content.

Have a nice day.

[This message was edited by David L. Donald on 28 October 2003 at 07:06 AM.]

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Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I'm schizophrenic,
and so am I

quote:

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For your convenience, parking spaces have been reserved for you 3 blocks away at the bottom of the hill.

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  ~ ~
  ©¿©  It don't mean a thang,   
  mm   if it ain't got that twang.
       www.ntsga.com

Also, the wiring is very old, and the caterer has already connected all of his equipment to this circuit... so we hope you don't have more than ONE thingy to plug in. Oh, and there's no ground...

It's going to be 105 degrees Saturday and we're going to need to put the food under the tent, since we can't afford to let the cake melt- so we hope you and your band don't mind setting up IN THE SUN, by the swimming pool...

You mean you need a LEVEL surface to stand on?"

Rick

------------------
Rick McDuffie
Marlen SD-10, Sho-Bud Professional S-10, Paul Reed Smith McCarty, Hofner New President, Fernandes LE2G
Rick's Music Photo Gallery
www.tarheelmusic.com

Of course this is after the bridesmaid and the usher / brother of the groom have the fist fight during the Moon River bridal dance.

Oh yeah, I anounced that a person boycotting the wedding is called to dance..
with someone who died 10 years earlier.

I've seen some pretty interesting ones to bandleaders of bands about "band conduct". MOst of them never got relayed though.

Actually a "verbal" one we got in 87 was pertty interesting. It was a hot gig in the summer at Oregon State Prison.

While walking down the " airlock" corridor..

" You might notice things are a little "quiet" toady, and we were thinking of cancelling, but you're here so... Anyhow, a guy ODed in D block friday night, the third one in a week, and the new warden won't let them move the body til Monday, and everybody's pretty tweaked about the smell.

If you notice the group of blacks in the one corner booing wtc, it's just a "local" thing and don't worry about it unless the guards tell you to walk out to the fenced area.

It's not as laid back as the last time you were here cause the new Warden cracked down on the "pot" and they're making it up with crank and black tar. That's why all the ODs..

Now. Have a good time!"

Actually we did.. the wind was blowing the right way, and the "black contingent" liked Mary's harp stuff.

The New Warden was found dead on the administration grounds about 3 months later..

Dear Bandmates..
Today we will be playing a Wedding..
Please be prepared to carry your gear up the Spiral Staircase to the 4th floor so we can play 1 song for the bride as she greets her maids...Then please carry your gear back down the Spiral Staircase to the main room..
Please have your gear setup by 4:30. We have been invited to eat but please do so in the kitchen by the dumpster door.

When we actually play please keep the volume down so we do not upset Aunt Martha at the front table. Also Uncle Albert, who weighs 450 lbs, will be sitting in on drums so be sure to have an extra drum stool ready .
Also, one last thing..we are not allowed to park our cars on site but the staff has allowed us to park our cars in the valet area as long as we move them every 15 minutes. Oh and you guitar players, yes you Tony, please tune up and don't play so dang twangy..you give me the Country creeps !.
Yours Truly
Bandleader..

Eric..was this the Bandleader letter you had in mind ?

T

[This message was edited by Tony Prior on 04 November 2003 at 03:35 PM.]

"We're more than happy to!"

"Could you please play ______"?

"We did that just before you came in, but if you'll stay around, we'll try to work it in again!"

quote:

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or driving by nearby 7-11 stores where the unemployed often assemble while seeking casual labor work. Perhaps your Nephew can throw together a last-minute ensemble, with some chums in his music class?

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This just put me on the floor LOLOLOLOL

The kids should be good for a 55 minute version of Lady of Spain, 45 minutes of the Bunny Hop, and a 1 hour 15 minute blues in G. Which should cover the night.
Enjoy!!!

[This message was edited by David L. Donald on 07 November 2003 at 12:05 PM.]

MEMO:
TO: All urrent bandmembers
Subject: THE KIDZZ ! (Draft set list)

First Gig: Wedding reception
Workup Copy, Preliminary (Tentative)
Song / Set Order / Feasiblity: TBD

URGENT!

Candidacy Submittals:

Louie Louie (P.C. Version/Sanitized...play as per dinner sets (al comitossimo)
Michael, Row The Boat Ashore, (STD. Ver.)
Kumbaiya (save for possible dollar dance)
Version as yet unknown. Ideas?
Blowin' In The Wind (arr. for Brass Section)
It's A Small World After All (M. Mouse Ver.)
It's A Wonderful World (H.Hop Dance Ver.)
Feelings (Extended Jam) ad nauseum
Medley: (Original) It's a Small, Wonderful World After We Fall(In Love)/ Feels Like Rain All Over Our Small, Wonderful World (Lento, Grinding). Outro to fade, +/- 32 bars of: Everything is Beautiful (Dirge)
[A couple of soupy ballads, by Eagles(?), Michael Collins (excruciossimo)
Can't We Just Get Along? (Original)
When a Man Loves a Woman (Slow Ska?); Save for Dollar Dance sub?

Be prepared to repeat anything song-wise we can pull off by showtime: Change keys, styles, ad lib lyrics, extended solos, modulate thru tune to the lips, trade 32's etc. etc.

Scapegoats (ala' guests & their relatives who play something) can probably be easily
duped into sitting in... & take some the heat off us! Think of someone...this works, I've been there.

PLEASE ADD YOUR IDEAS!... we have just a week & a half!

F. Theodore Rokker III, Musical Director
# # #

[This message was edited by Rich Paton on 07 November 2003 at 01:20 PM.]

And no Banjo solo."

We don't play weddings too often, but the few we do are at very posh venues and houses. At least I found a way not to get my car moved miles away - I drive a Porsche, so they ALWAYS assume it's a guest's!

He also does Moon Over Manakura on slide guitar, but wants to try it with pedals. Please accomedate him.

Also we would like Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone, followed by Daddy's Little Girl, sung by my Aunt Morton. ```````excerpted from his off off Broadway drag show, which opened for The Dualing Bankheads last spring.

[This message was edited by David L. Donald on 10 November 2003 at 10:44 AM.]

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James R.Hall
MSA S10 & MSA D12

Why do Tom Waits and Llliy Tomlin come to mind as parents of the bride?

[This message was edited by David L. Donald on 10 November 2003 at 04:29 PM.]