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  Wife/Girlfriend at gigs... (Page 1)

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Author Topic:   Wife/Girlfriend at gigs...
Bob Carlucci
Member

From: Candor, New York, USA

posted 28 July 2005 05:26 AM     profile     
Mine.. NEVER.. wants NOTHING to do with it. Just comes sniffing around next morning with her pretty little hand out, looking for the gig money! ..

Some guys have the wife/girl come to EVERY gig always.. others are like mine.
I wish she would show up on occasion,but I guess she hears enough of my ho hum steel stylings through the walls of the house!

I have seen it cause major problems when a cute girl so much as gives the band a completely innocent smile, or a band member even says hello to a long time fan who just happens to be female, and the wife/ girl just happens to be watching.

Might be fun discussing your particular situation /experiences. Does you beloved come to all the gigs?.. sometimes? never?.. bob


[This message was edited by Bob Carlucci on 28 July 2005 at 06:10 AM.]

[This message was edited by Bob Carlucci on 28 July 2005 at 06:16 AM.]

D Schubert
Member

From: Columbia, MO, USA

posted 28 July 2005 07:02 AM     profile     
My wife would very seldom come to gigs for many years. When she did, there was ususally some kind of awkwardness or trouble, as you describe, or -- more often -- plain ol' boredom. But for the last 10 year she comes to nearly all the gigs, because she's the bass player. The longstanding joke around our house is that I had to join a 2nd band, just to get away from her.
Kevin Lange
Member

From: Minnesota, USA

posted 28 July 2005 07:29 AM     profile     
My wife Kathy and I will celebrate our 23rd wedding anniversary next month. I met her when I was playing in the Office bar here in St. Cloud MN where she was a part-time waitress. I was a full-time player at the time, have been a full-time player at different times in our married life, and am currently a part-time player, 10 - 12 gigs per month. When we were first married, she came along every night. When our boys were born, she stayed home most of the time to care for them. When our oldest son Eddie started to play in bands as a bass player or drummer, she went with him. He was only 15 at the time. In the year 2000 I was playing for someone else, when Eddie took up the steel guitar, our younger son Harry had been working on the drums, and I as a bass player thought, I think I'll find a guitar player and start a band again. Since then, Kathy comes along on almost every job. She helps carry gear in, visits with people at the club, helps promote the band, and then helps tear down and carry out. I very seldom talk much with her during the gig, she has always understood that my job is not to visit with her on my breaks, and I think that is one of the reasons we are as successful as we are. I usually joke that the main reason she comes along is to watch her investment as she owns the p.a., the truck, the trailer and the guitar I'm playing. That's not too far from the truth. I'm sure without her I would have those things, but with her, I have newer, nicer and a better quality of equipment and life than I could have without her. The bottom line for me is, I really apreciate her support and assistance at the gigs, and really miss her when she's not there. Oh, and I love her too!!!
Jim Peters
Member

From: St. Louis, Missouri, USA

posted 28 July 2005 08:05 AM     profile     
My wife is the singer in my main band,(SWIRL) so of course is always there. She rarely comes to my other gigs.
Girlfriends and wives not in the band are many times Trouble. JimP
HowardR
Member

From: N.Y.C.,N.Y.

posted 28 July 2005 09:22 AM     profile     
I always bring my girlfriend to my gigs....just hope the wife doesn't show up there too.....
kyle reid
Member

From: Butte,Mt.usa

posted 28 July 2005 09:59 AM     profile     
You a Cheatin steel player? Thats Impossible!
Dave Grafe
Member

From: Portland, Oregon, USA

posted 28 July 2005 10:52 AM     profile     
My wife was a regular on the dance floor many years ago when I was happy to be married to someone else. Since she was one of the very few girls who didn't try to make time with the married guys in the band we both always liked her. Thirty years later we all still get along quite well, although the arrangement has changed somewhat.

We have been married about eight years now and she comes out to the gigs when she can, which is not a whole lot - the current joke is that my bandmates aren't really sure if I'm telling the truth about actually having a wife - but she is 100% supportive of my music, even encouraging me when I have to pay someone else a lot of money to work for me so that I can go out and play the steel guitar for relatively little money - talk about "pay to play!"

As far as conflicts at the gig with other women, I'm fortunate to have no problems there as her motto has always been "Flirt for world peace, but remember to go home to your own."

[This message was edited by Dave Grafe on 28 July 2005 at 10:58 AM.]

Larry Robbins
Member

From: Fort Edward, New York, USA

posted 28 July 2005 12:46 PM     profile     
Good topic Bob,
My wife almost never comes to where I playing unless a girl friend of hers or two want to stop in to pick on us a little...
You know wink, flirt and dance seductivly in front of the band stand . But she knows that I do not drink when I'm playing a gig ever! So,..as long as alcohol is not involved she pretty much trusts me.And she can. She also knows that during breaks I need to "make the rounds" and visit this one and that one, play politics and such..
Plus she was once a member of the stage hands union so she kind of knows what goes down at gig if you want to get more gigs.Plus she knows that I used to play in the house band at a now (unfortunatly) defunct strip club! So she kind of figures I got all of that crazy stuff out of my system years ago!! Cause you know ..if you see one woman....... you want to see more!
I guess Im a lucky guy to have a gal who is so supportive but she sure has her hand out the next morning!ha, ha!...Of course you realize that the reason she and her friends act like that is to discourage the HORDES of women who chase steel players around!

------------------
73 PRO II, 79/80 PRO III
Steelkings,Fender guitars,Preston covers,
and Taylor(Tut that is)
Reso's
"Of all the things Ive lost in life, I miss my mind the most"

Ray Minich
Member

From: Limestone, New York, USA

posted 28 July 2005 01:32 PM     profile     
I'm probably fortunate that my wife CAN'T STAND the music I play (even when I sound good...).
Ben Slaughter
Member

From: Madera, California

posted 28 July 2005 02:16 PM     profile     
My girlfriend used to come to gigs, then I married her, and she quit showing up. I too had bandmates starting to wonder if I actually was married because I can't wear a ring and the family never showed up.

But, back in the day, her presence was cause for many a harsh word.

Archie Nicol
Member

From: Ayrshire, Scotland

posted 28 July 2005 03:14 PM     profile     
I used to bring the wife to gigs. Then her back went and she was no use after that.(SQUMS), Arch.
Al Udeen
Member

From: maple grove mn usa

posted 28 July 2005 03:39 PM     profile     
Archie! Thats Cold!

Al [Reid] Udeen

Bill Hatcher
Member

From: Atlanta Ga. USA

posted 28 July 2005 04:05 PM     profile     
Under most circumstances---NOT a good idea.
Larry Strawn
Member

From: Golden Valley, Arizona, USA

posted 28 July 2005 04:31 PM     profile     
Since my wife is the Bass player, and one of the singers in the band, I insist that she shows up, and prefferably on time!! LOL..

She may or may not go when I work with another band, but we're both comfortable with it either way..

Larry

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"ROCKIN COUNTRY"

Stephen Gambrell
Member

From: Ware Shoals, South Carolina, USA

posted 28 July 2005 07:59 PM     profile     
My wife is a nurse. I don't go to work with her. If we're playing a private function, and wives are allowed, then she might come along, but she prefers HER interests!
I've always thought the "band table," where all the wives/girlfriends sat together, either trying to talk, or listening to the SAME songs again, was sorta pathetic--kinda like the table at the old-timey strip joints where all the husbands/boyfriends sat.
Bob Carlucci
Member

From: Candor, New York, USA

posted 28 July 2005 08:22 PM     profile     
Steve.. I'm starting to worry.. We have the same opinion here. ... I too have always thought the "band table" looked more like a group of acute diarrhhea patients than a bunch of girls having a fun night out!... Most times,the girls are half asleep, and by the end of the night are really cranky, sniping at thier musician husbands/boyfriends to "Get it packed up fast".. "I'm dead tired and want to go home"

A rock band I play with has a guitarist[ a good friend by the way]whose wife comes to 90% of our gigs, usually sits alone, and often is outside sleeping in his equipment van by 11 pm... what fun!.... bob

Jim Peters
Member

From: St. Louis, Missouri, USA

posted 28 July 2005 10:21 PM     profile     
Here's the full story:
http://steelguitarforum.com/Forum10/HTML/005025.html
Dave Grafe
Member

From: Portland, Oregon, USA

posted 29 July 2005 12:00 AM     profile     
Not to mention that whenever we think we're really cookin' the wives/girlfriends always ask us "what's wrong with you guys tonight?" Of course whenever we think we suck they always tell us how much more rippin' it sounds than the last gig. Who needs the confusion?
Herb Steiner
Member

From: Cedar Valley, Travis County TX

posted 29 July 2005 06:03 AM     profile     
I'm with Steve. My wife is a veterinarian and says "Herb, you don't hang out at the clinic, I don't hang out at the gigs."

Which I appreciate. I have my job to do and don't need the extra distractions Kathy's being at the job... probably bored out of her mind... would bring. Besides, she's got her own things to do after her workday, things she does to relax and recuperate.

------------------
Herb's Steel Guitar Pages
Texas Steel Guitar Association


Smiley Roberts
Member

From: Hendersonville,Tn. 37075

posted 29 July 2005 10:52 AM     profile     
I,once,had a wife,a girlfriend,AND a note at the bank,& ALL THREE were 30 days past due!
(UH-OH!)

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  ~ ~
©¿© It don't mean a thang,
mm if it ain't got that twang.
www.ntsga.com

Mark van Allen
Member

From: loganville, Ga. USA

posted 29 July 2005 10:54 AM     profile     
My wife works most nights and can rarely come to a gig. But when she can it's a treat for me. She's sweet and calm, and not the jealous type so never a chance of a problem. At some of the larger venues it's really nice to look out over the crowd and see her smiling face. I'm a very lucky guy.

------------------
Stop by the Steel Store at: www.markvanallen.com

Ray Minich
Member

From: Limestone, New York, USA

posted 29 July 2005 11:51 AM     profile     
MVA, you art one fortunate musician. Are you sure the name Stepford ain't in there somewhere?
Dave Grafe
Member

From: Portland, Oregon, USA

posted 29 July 2005 01:20 PM     profile     
quote:
ALL THREE were 30 days past due
Is that where you got the name "Smiley"?

[This message was edited by Dave Grafe on 29 July 2005 at 01:22 PM.]

Brett Anderson
Member

From: Arizona, USA

posted 29 July 2005 07:15 PM     profile     
My ex-wife rarely came to see me. And if I remember right all the girlfriends I've ever had came once or twice and then decided it was their own personal chore in life to get me to quit playing clubs. Its not that I'm the straying kind, but we must admit, at least to ourselves there is temptation. I could never convince any of them that without playing my music there is a huge hole in my life that they can't fill.
Tony Prior
Member

From: Charlotte NC

posted 30 July 2005 10:33 AM     profile     
double post

[This message was edited by Tony Prior on 30 July 2005 at 10:36 AM.]

Tony Prior
Member

From: Charlotte NC

posted 30 July 2005 10:35 AM     profile     
really requires a good strong relationship...or things can happen really really fast..

Booze, Men, Woman, Booze , Young woman, Young men, Booze..Dancing..Tight Jeans(on the Woman)
more Booze..Loose Tops ( again on the Woman )

all this stuff can add up to..

have your Lawyer call my Lawyer...

[This message was edited by Tony Prior on 30 July 2005 at 10:41 AM.]

Gene Jones
Member

From: Oklahoma City, OK USA

posted 30 July 2005 11:15 AM     profile     
We always had a workable and mutually agreeable relationship. I didn't go to work with her, and she didn't go to work with me!

It worked.......we just celebrated our 53rd wedding anniversary!

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www.genejones.com

Archie Nicol
Member

From: Ayrshire, Scotland

posted 30 July 2005 03:14 PM     profile     
Gene. You get younger by the picture.
Cheers, Arch.
Gene Jones
Member

From: Oklahoma City, OK USA

posted 30 July 2005 04:06 PM     profile     
Yea Archie....I sure would hate to buy the amount of makeup it would take today to resemble one of those pictures!
Brett Anderson
Member

From: Arizona, USA

posted 30 July 2005 08:20 PM     profile     
Gene I didnt think you were that old.
Kenny Burford
Member

From: Lexington, Missouri USA

posted 30 July 2005 10:03 PM     profile     
My wife would rather be rolled in honey and tied on top of an anthill as to have to sit and listen me playing all evening.
Jim Cohen
Member

From: Philadelphia, PA

posted 31 July 2005 05:51 AM     profile     
You Southern boys have just compellingly graphic ways of expressing yourselves...
retcop88
unregistered
posted 01 August 2005 03:01 AM           
One night my wife showed up with friends and sat at the same table as my girlfriend.Of course I never came off the bandstand (three sets)until she left. Equipment problem....Well there would have been had I got off the stage. ,true story.
Steve Hinson
Member

From: Hendersonville Tn USA

posted 01 August 2005 07:52 AM     profile     
I hate it when that happens...

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http://home.comcast.net/~stevehinson


Ray Minich
Member

From: Limestone, New York, USA

posted 01 August 2005 09:05 AM     profile     
quote:
Booze, Men, Woman, Booze , Young woman, Young men, Booze..Dancing..Tight Jeans(on the Woman)
more Booze..Loose Tops ( again on the Woman )
all this stuff can add up to..

Ever new ways to create occupational hazards...

[This message was edited by Ray Minich on 01 August 2005 at 09:06 AM.]

Bob Knetzger
Member

From: Kirkland, WA USA

posted 01 August 2005 10:08 PM     profile     
My wife of 25 years rarely wants to go to my gigs-- jshe's ust not a fan of country, bluegrass, alt.country, or whatever. She's been dragged to enough musical events over the years I can understand that she feels like she's had her fill.

But ...coming up 8/2, I'm playing with the Swains opening up for Clint Black. Great venue, outdoor evening concert, pro sound, drinks, no stinky smoke-filled honytonk... and it's all over by 10pm. She's going with a friend so she can even skip the boring load in and out and soundchceks. Nice to have a wife-friendly gig for a change!

Bob K
Seattle

Mark Metdker
Member

From: North Central Texas, USA

posted 05 August 2005 08:33 AM     profile     
This is never a good idea.

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Zum U-12 w/True Tone pickup thru a Nashville 112

Strats thru a VHT Super 30

Band Pics
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George Redmon
Member

From:

posted 05 August 2005 06:09 PM     profile     
i just love it when sweetie pops in at the club about 11:30 just to see how i'm dew'in..kinda makes my night...at around 10:30 or so i catch myself checking the door to see when she walks in..and when she decides she's too tired to come down after working 12 hours at work..i understand...i also like to see her face light up, when i show up at her work, with a dozen roses for no reason at all...of course after 21 years with the same sweet person, i suppose i really should get around to marrying that gal one of these days...when i was playing my Sho~Bud, she told me i really should get a lighter guitar..so i did...she doesn't have nearly the trouble tote'in this one, my bass player asked, "you mean you never married that gal?" i said nope..he asked.."do you mind if i do?"...as far as the looks from other girls...it has happened..and she kids me all night long about being a good lookin' super star..lol..as far as guys hitting on her..she decked a dude out cold one night...she runs a very very tight ship...i learned how to say yes mam..a long time ago...it works for us

[This message was edited by George Redmon on 05 August 2005 at 06:19 PM.]

George Redmon
Member

From:

posted 05 August 2005 06:34 PM     profile     
i hate to double post bob..but on the other side of the coin..she likes that long hair symphonic stuff..and loves the theater..and theatrical productions and dinner theater, i have seen "Cats" and "Chicago" at least 10 times each..we made a deal one year..she would go to scotty's convention, if i would go to hear the St Louis Chamber Orchestra...gulp
Les Anderson
Member

From: Rossland, BC, Canada

posted 05 August 2005 09:57 PM     profile     
When you get to be my age, you don't have to worry about some cute youg chick flashing her baby blues at you.

My big thrill now is not falling asleep half way through a set once it gets past midnight.

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(I am not right all of the time but I sure like to think I am!)


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