Do-it-yourself Insult Kit - The Steel Guitar Forum

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Do-it-yourself Insult Kit

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Author	Topic: Do-it-yourself Insult Kit
Jim Cohen Member From: Philadelphia, PA	posted 01 November 1999 08:48 PM profile In my years of reading the Forum, I've noticed that most of the flaming and insults consist of pretty trite, overused stuff. This might be suitable in some circumstances, but there are special situations when something more classy is called for (such as when scaring a big-name steel player off the Forum, for instance. Or perhaps when attempting to persuade someone that your religion is clearly superior to theirs.) To remedy this, I offer the following: Shakespearean Insult Kit To construct an original Shakespearean insult, simply combine one word from each of the three columns below, and preface it with "Thou": Column 1 Column 2 Column 3 artless base-court apple-john bawdy bat-fowling baggage beslubbering beef-witted barnacle bootless beetle-headed bladder churlish boil-brained boar-pig cockered clapper-clawed bugbear clouted clay-brained bum-bailey craven common-kissing canker-blossom currish crook-pated clack-dish dankish dismal-dreaming clotpole dissembling dizzy-eyed coxcomb droning doghearted codpiece errant dread-bolted death-token fawning earth-vexing dewberry fobbing elf-skinned flap-dragon froward fat-kidneyed flax-wench frothy fen-sucked flirt-gill gleeking flap-mouthed foot-licker goatish fly-bitten fustilarian gorbellied folly-fallen giglet impertinent fool-born gudgeon infectious full-gorged haggard jarring guts-griping harpy loggerheaded half-faced hedge-pig lumpish hasty-witted horn-beast mammering hedge-born hugger-mugger mangled hell-hated joithead mewling idle-headed lewdster paunchy ill-breeding lout pribbling ill-nurtured maggot-pie puking knotty-pated malt-worm puny milk-livered mammet qualling motley-minded measle rank onion-eyed minnow reeky plume-plucked miscreant roguish pottle-deep moldwarp ruttish pox-marked mumble-news saucy reeling-ripe nut-hook spleeny rough-hewn pigeon-egg spongy rude-growing pignut surly rump-fed puttock tottering shard-borne pumpion unmuzzled sheep-biting ratsbane vain spur-galled scut venomed swag-bellied skainsmate villainous tardy-gaited strumpet warped tickle-brained varlet wayward toad-spotted vassal weedy unchin-snouted whey-face yeasty weather-bitten wagtail Seems to me, being called "thou unmuzzled, common-kissing puttock" would either a)end the argument, or b) at least stimulate some entertaining reparte in response. Can we upgrade the discourse in this place? What thinkest thou, ye tottering, rump-fed pignuts? [So what if I can't get the columns to work?? Want to make something of it, thou villainous, pock-marked pigeon-egg?] [This message was edited by Jim Cohen on 11-01-99]
b0b Sysop From: Cloverdale, California, USA	posted 01 November 1999 10:35 PM profile Funny stuff, Jim. Maybe I'll have better luck with the columns: Column 1 Column 2 Column 3 artless base-court apple-john bawdy bat-fowling baggage beslubbering beef-witted barnacle bootless beetle-headed bladder churlish boil-brained boar-pig cockered clapper-clawed bugbear clouted clay-brained bum-bailey craven common-kissing canker-blossom currish crook-pated clack-dish dankish dismal-dreaming clotpole dissembling dizzy-eyed coxcomb droning doghearted codpiece errant dread-bolted death-token fawning earth-vexing dewberry fobbing elf-skinned flap-dragon froward fat-kidneyed flax-wench frothy fen-sucked flirt-gill gleeking flap-mouthed foot-licker goatish fly-bitten fustilarian gorbellied folly-fallen giglet impertinent fool-born gudgeon infectious full-gorged haggard jarring guts-griping harpy loggerheaded half-faced hedge-pig lumpish hasty-witted horn-beast mammering hedge-born hugger-mugger mangled hell-hated joithead mewling idle-headed lewdster paunchy ill-breeding lout pribbling ill-nurtured maggot-pie puking knotty-pated malt-worm puny milk-livered mammet qualling motley-minded measle rank onion-eyed minnow reeky plume-plucked miscreant roguish pottle-deep moldwarp ruttish pox-marked mumble-news saucy reeling-ripe nut-hook spleeny rough-hewn pigeon-egg spongy rude-growing pignut surly rump-fed puttock tottering shard-borne pumpion unmuzzled sheep-biting ratsbane vain spur-galled scut venomed swag-bellied skainsmate villainous tardy-gaited strumpet warped tickle-brained varlet wayward toad-spotted vassal weedy unchin-snouted whey-face yeasty weather-bitten wagtail Rank sheep-biting giglet? [This message was edited by b0b on 11-01-99]
rmason Member From: Caracas, Venezuela	posted 02 November 1999 03:20 AM profile You may call me a roguish, swag-bellied, haggard any time you wish.
emmett d unregistered	posted 02 November 1999 11:08 AM ...as long as thou smileth when ye so smite me...
Jon Guirl Member From: Millington TN, USA	posted 02 November 1999 11:21 AM profile And a smile it shall be, thou beslubbering fen-sucked clotpole. LOL those are hilarious, reminds me of Monty Python taunts and insults. [This message was edited by Jon Guirl on 11-02-99]
Tony Davis Member From: Brisbane, QLD, Australia	posted 03 November 1999 12:45 AM profile Thats it Mr Cohen!Thou describeth me to a T. I therefore challengeth thee to pointy sticks of rhubarb at twenty paces!
Jon Smorada Member From: Industry, PA USA	posted 03 November 1999 09:21 AM profile And then there's the Abuse-a-Tron: http://www.upstart.xe.com/abuse/abuse.shtml
Mike Weirauch Member From: Harrisburg, Illinois**The Hub of the Universe	posted 03 November 1999 09:02 PM profile Oh come now, thou "cockered, beetle-headed nut hook", Do you really expect us lowly "villainous, fen sucking lewdsters" to communicate in this mannor, SIRE?
Jim Cohen Member From: Philadelphia, PA	posted 04 November 1999 09:22 PM profile Yep, you betcha.
Kathryn Sabey Member From: Rock Hill, SC	posted 07 November 1999 03:04 PM profile This is great!! I printed it off so I could take this to work!! What fun to have at the doctor's sake....or an administrator's!! Thanks Jim..Thou yeasty, toad-spotted lewdster!!!

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