Of course, maybe the problem is that these people are fiddle players, or sax players, and not MUSICIANS.

Some of my newer lines go like...
"So where is your box of percusion instruments?
{funny look}
"Yeah, all the best harmonica players have a few shakers or maracas or something to play while the other instrument players are doing fills or solos."
And then I add the finely crafted phrase...
"Ya know that, don't ya?"

For fiddle...
"I've noticed that all the best fiddle players just put the fiddle under their arm when they've finished their solo or verse of fills."
[usually followed by]
Oh, I like to just play rhythm "chucks" (demonstrating how they hit the bow on the strings on the down beat).
Me: "Dude, I'm gonna smash that F'n thing if... (or in the case of harmonica) Dude, I'm gonna hafta ram that thing down yer throat if..."

All this is followed by my standard speach...
"Playing music is like having a conversation. You can't have a good conversation if everyone is talking at once, or if any ONE is doing all the talking."
"Now, if you want to be certain that it's your turn to play, just look over and you'll see that my hands are not touching my instrument."
"I'll look over to you for the same signal."

[This message was edited by Pete Burak on 14 August 2004 at 10:00 AM.]

I figured out how to shut up the Fiddle player..we did what Jimbeax did..never told him where the gigs were.

The Harmonica players, I still haven't figured out what to do with those weasles.

I like the "Off Tune" scenario as mentioned above but in one of the bands I work with the up front singer plays harmonica, and not well. I think he's still playing and the gig was a few weeks ago..

It drives me nuts..and thats a short trip for me !

Pete/

I think we are thinking of a similar harmonicat. I couldn't help think of that terrible Nick Berg Beheading video....

...and wondering if my Leatherman™ used with enough gusto would yield similar results..

Ray. You're funny.

EJL

[This message was edited by Eric West on 14 August 2004 at 05:17 PM.]

OH and Pete.. I remember several funny instances. One was with Lou Soloman a close personal friend of mine.

I was working for Bob Machado with him in a band where the only reason he stayed alive is that nobody but me had the balls to shoot him, and I wanted the money more than I wanted to shoot him.. ANYHOW.. On the Way to the gig the trailer seemed a little light, and Bob allowed as how he needed to stop by H&B Loans.... Well, of course, Bob couldn't produce the FRIGGIN PAWN TICKET, and in the meantime he made an hispanic connection, got the "office stuff" bypassed, I was driving around the block with a beat up 77 chevie PU, and a stolen UHaul pony trailer..

All this only to find out that I was PAYING MONEY to get SOLOMONS ENSONIQ ( Really Steve Wests') out of hock! I think I came as cose to shooting him then as I ever did...

I relayed this to Lou, and it was his last nite with the band before he went and told the management to fire US for firing him..

I challenged him to whomever could play the longest string of Truly Tasteless $____.

I think having the backing of Mr Peavey, that I beat him hands down. I offered a drink to Mr West's Ensoniq as a victory gesture, but he declined.

WE DID get fired, and after that Lou never worked another country gig that I ever heard of.. I never got the chance to blackball him either, his stupid beanie propellor hat did that for him..

Lou and I ARE good friends, and when at the yearly All HArley Drags in Woodburn, somebody noted his 800$ keyboard painted helmet that "He must be a musician".. I found myself unable to speak, and merely dropped to the pavement laughing...

OK.

I like the "Conversation" thing.

My favorite way of answering things that are presented to me in well though out manner is to say

"I hear what you're saying, You're right as you present it, and further more, I find myself actually agreeing with you... but that's just not the way I look at it.." I stole it from Donald Eudaly, an old excavator boss of mine.

Mainly if it's a band that is "part mine" I don't have a lot of wrestling with sensitivity. If it's not mine, I just hope I don't scare myself too bad for what I'd do for a month's electric bill...

I really like playing with people like I have been able to lately where there's a minimum of hassle deciding who plays what, even without "record arrangements".

Anyhow. I really like the "This is like having a conversation". I ask them just who it is I am supposed to be having this conversation with... If they tell me they are REALLY important, then I promise to afford them more respect.. Or I let them say what's on their mind and answer "Whatever...."

Those Leatherman™ guys really outdid themselves with that serrated blade..

EJL

But some nights he is also off the wall. BOING!

[This message was edited by David L. Donald on 15 August 2004 at 09:28 AM.]

" Ray..I own a Banjo, it's a friend of mine, and you Sir..Are No Banjo"...

I think George Orwell was off by a few years...

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Derby D-10 3+4 Les Paul Custom.

quote:

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So, after dealing with this for a few months, we started tuning to 430 instead of 440, it was hysterical to watch the harmonica idiots try to figure out what was wrong!!!!

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If that doesn't work, just get up, go to the bar, get a drink and sit down out front and try to enjoy the show. The band leader will then get wise to what is going on and come and ask you, "What do you think you are doing"? You say, "Earning my money, its just alot more comfortable out here. You obviously didn't hire ME to play pedal guitar, you just wanted my guitar to sit on the bandstand so you could say you've got a "steel in the band"." Then maybe the band leader will listen and make the appropriate changes.

If none of that works, look at it as sitting on your rear for 4 hours and getting paid to do nothing.

My long term solution is to practice harder so that I can better gigs with better musicians. I can't think of a time when a crappy musician actually changed into a good one after hearing some helpfull advice.

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Bob
intonation help

quote:

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I have a beef with keyboard players who think its a rhythm instrument

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Melvin, the keyboard is a rhythm instrument, and a very important one. But just like the guitar, it has to be played in a rhythm instrument style, bass note/chord. NOT single notes that interfere with other lead players.

Randy Reinhard, monster pianist as well as steel player, often refrains from taking a piano solo because it removes the keyboard sound from the rhythm mix.

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Herb's Steel Guitar Pages
Texas Steel Guitar Association

I guess this goes along with what Bob Hoffnar posted above. Good musicians understand that there is no "I" in BAND, GROUP, TEAM, or whatever. I marvel at the great musicianship all weekend at Scotty's. They know when NOT to play.

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HagFan

Just wanted to note the above to say that we should be somewhat careful when we paint with a brush that it not be too broad. Remember, "If your gona play in Texas, you gotta have a fiddle in the band".

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Remington Steel T-8 Steelmaster
Gibson Console Grande

[This message was edited by Chuck Halcomb on 17 August 2004 at 01:42 PM.]